Courtney's distancing

January 5, 2024

A Clinical Pathology Student's Journey

Hi, my name is Courtney, a 21-year-old university student majoring in Clinical Pathology. I'm learning both the theory and practical skills needed to become a clinical pathologist, studying hematology, clinical microbiology, neurodiagnostics, and more.

What I'm learning in school right now

Feeling Incapable of Independence?

When I started Distancing, I often felt an anxiety about my inability to be independent. I ended up blaming myself a lot, feeling incompetent.

“I ended up blaming myself, feeling incompetent.”

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Distancing

I discovered Distancing through an Instagram ad. I can't remember the exact content, but it mentioned 'cognitive behavioral therapy,' which I was eager to experience. I wanted to understand my anxiety in detail. That's how I got started with Distancing.

Recognizing Automatic Thoughts

At Distancing, I learned about various concepts that helped me understand myself better, like thought traps and automatic thinking.

Until I learned these concepts, I never considered my thoughts as automatic and believed in their truth, perpetuating my anxiety. That was my usual pattern of falling into anxiety.

I believed my thoughts were true and kept fueling my anxiety with them.

Distrusting My Judgments

For example, I often felt fear when it came to making decisions. I doubted whether my wants and decisions were right. I didn't trust myself and couldn't make decisions based on my own will.

Each time I had to make a decision, thoughts like "Am I right? Can I trust this?" dominated my mind. This was the first automatic thought I identified.

The Labels I Stuck On Myself

After that, I examined the thought traps associated with my automatic thinking. It was a process of realizing that such thoughts didn't serve me well and weren't accurate.

The thought trap of the automatic thought "I can't trust my judgment" was 'labeling.' I was repeatedly assigning myself the conclusion that I can't make good decisions. Recognizing this trap made it easier to respond whenever such automatic thoughts surfaced.

Delving Deeper into Myself

Through the program, finding my core beliefs was the most helpful. Reaching my core beliefs felt like resolving the questions and anxieties I carried.

My core belief was 'I am flawed.' I believed that if I showed my true self, no one would want to be around me. So, I created intermediate beliefs, such as needing to avoid mistakes, and I harshly criticized myself whenever they occurred. Any slight indication of my flaws made me fear attack from others and the world, causing me to shrink into myself.

I suddenly understood why I've been so withdrawn all this time.

Understanding Myself

At the start of Distancing, I didn't know why I constantly felt anxious. But after going through the program, I understood. It was because I saw myself as flawed, trying to hide those flaws and constantly feeling anxious as a result.

Living with Compassion for Myself

After learning to understand myself, I became more lenient towards my needs. I started satisfying my cravings, like eating the food I like, and doing things that come to mind, not just what I have to or can do, I'm beginning to pursue activities that excite me too.

“I'm beginning to pursue not just necessary activities, but also those that spark joy.”

Recently, I read a novel, and for the first time in a while, it felt enjoyable. I plan to read many more entertaining books.

Books look different when you're kind to yourself

Coach: A Compassionate Guide

My coach was warm-hearted. Their comments provided comfort, and I felt genuinely cared for. They distilled my scattered thoughts into essential points. They reached out to continue the program but never in a pushy manner.

Embrace Love and Passion

A life of giving and receiving love seems the most worthwhile to me. I've come to think that genuine care can drive transformation in people. I aspire to treat others kindly and lend a helping hand whenever I can.

I believe deep care can fuel personal change.

Sincerity can transform people

I believe immersion is important and precious in life. I am determined to take the time to immerse myself in valuable tasks.

Right now, what I want to immerse in is 'documentation.' I aim to accumulate life records, including daily plans, bucket lists, study notes, and more.

Currently focusing on 'documentation'

The Right Path to Tending the Mind

I believe mental health care is essential for everyone, all the more for those with mental health concerns. Yet, managing mental health seems quite a challenge. There's a misconception that poor mental health stems from weakness.

Some wrongly attribute poor mental health to personal weakness.

Through Distancing, I've learned a lot about myself and uncovered aspects I hadn't noticed before. The questions posed to me during the program were focused and personalized. I’ve gained key psychological knowledge integral to mental health care. I recommend Distancing to those eager to understand themselves and learn effective ways to manage mental health.

Better Mental Health,
A science-based cognitive therapy
for depression and anxiety led by experts
start distancing